Goody Bags and Other Life Hacks

(Sigh...I know, I know...I've been a little radio silent.  What can I say?  Life, eh?  ENJOY!)

I have never understood the proverbial 'Goody Bag' at kids' birthday parties.  

When did it become customary to give a parting gift to someone who had given YOU a gift?  Not to mention, the investment the host put into HAVING the party...?

Just...baffling.

Suffice it to say, when my two older girls had a party (and it was A party since they share their birthday, two years apart), I went against the grain and sent our guests home with empty hands and a hearty 'THANK YOU FOR COMING'! (gasp)

And that was that.

Here's another hack.  

Oh...right...the 'hack' above is: don't do goody bags. 
I release you of said 'tradition' and perceived 'requirement'.  
You're welcome.

Ok...the 'other' hack.

Don't put the location or address of the party on the invitation.

"BUT KIMBERLY...how will they know where to go?  How will they get their goody bag?" 

[ Wait!  No goody bags, remember?  You're free now ]

I cannot take full credit for this one.

Years ago a friend of mine sent out the invites for her son's party.  Looking expectantly over the invitation, elated we had been included in this event, a location was nowhere to be found.  

Was this a joke?  

Was she just taunting me?  "We're having a party, wanted you to know but we don't want you to actually come TO the party"  

Curious, I called.

When I called to inquire about this missing detail, she explained there hadn't been room on the invite.  'You're Invited To Petey-Pete's 7th Birthday on November 10th' 

Done and done.

She was kind enough to give the address and the rest is history.  

THAT STUCK WITH ME THOUGH!

Ah-ha.  

Don't provide the location.  This means, no one can just 'show up' because their previous 'better' plans fell through and now your party is the consolation prize.

BOOM!

And it works.

My invitations over the years have read something like this:

Please join Oldest and Middlest for Their Not-Twins Birthday on This Date and This Time

When you call with your intentions, I'll disclose where we are celebrating these
perfect, precious, sweetest ever girls

Let us know 'yeah' or 'neigh' by another date a week out

When I explain my skewed logic, including having an accurate headcount, no one really fusses.  Furthermore, I can PERSONALIZE things for the guests.  One year, we did a cooking thing - I got aprons and personalized them with the name of said child.   
(See what I did there?  I DID gift SOMETHING and it was practical...you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?)

 

You may think I'm the Grinch of Birthdays and All Things Fun.  I assure you, I am not.  

More power to you if you do the goody bags, moreso if you even let me in on the location of said party.  FANTASTIC!  This is a judge-free zone.  I'm not gonna lie, I love me a swag bag and I know kids look forward to it when they go to parties (well, leave the party).  That said, I simply am not that mom AND I wanted to give you 'permission' to do things differently.  

It is o.k.

Because, the reality, what happens to the dollar tree trinkets you fuss over?  You spend a chunk of change on the party alone (from food to the venue to everything in between).  You're already giving your child and their friends an EXPERIENCE.  A MEMORY!  Totally acceptable to allow THAT to be enough.

OH...as for gifts - we did open gifts at the party (I do not think I would do that today - too much pressure).  THAT SAID - during the opening of gifts, I would take a picture with each guest and the given gift.  When my girls (yes, the Oldest and Middlest) would write their thank you notes, a picture would be enclosed.  Again, another 'gift' if you will and memorable.  

                                               (the littlest and her 10th with friends)

That is all.  

Go forth.  

Host as you see fit.  

I support whatever you decide.  

My intention was to provide a different perspective, opinion (see my recent post about onions...lol) and options. 

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

                                                         The Original Breakfast
                             (now THIS was a memory!  Happy Birthday to me in January.)

The Nametag

Nametags.

Wait staff wear nametags.  Cashiers wear nametags.  We put them on our pets.  We stick them to our shirt at an event or conference.

My first one was a silver one, 'VILLAGE INN  Kim'

The next one was this lil' number - 'WOODS' 

Then there was this season - found BONALES while lookin' through memorabilia

How could I forget the time with United Market Street?!  Teaching cooking classes!

Currently, it's 'GET ORGANIZED Kimberly' (ha! Indeed - GET organized, Kimberly...lol)

I found one this week, while cleaning out a nightstand drawer of a client. - 'JUAN'S MEXICAN RESTAURANT  Ellen*' 

In my line of work, I find A L L the things.  This past week, I was packing up an apartment containing the recently deceased, Ellen.  My client is Ellen's daughter, Lois* who is responsible for packing up her mom's apartment.  That's where I come in.   

I found the aforementioned nametag, buried underneath miscellaneous papers.  Instinctively, I knew this was special.  

It's 'just' a nametag, right?  Who would even know?  It's long forgotten...

Let me tell you, when I handed it to my client, Lois, she gasped.

Juan's Mexican Restaurant had closed years ago.  Turns out it had been Ellen's first job; she maintained it for years.

I went on a deep dive of mini-movies and memories in my own brain.

Ellen walking up, greeting her table, 'Hello, my name is Ellen.  I'll be your server tonight.  What can I get you to drink?"  Small talk, banter, getting acquainted for the span of an hour or so.

Those she served over the course of her time at Juan's have long forgotten Ellen.  Ellen, having long forgotten them.  

Lois, however, remembers her mama very much and the joy on Lois' face was well worth it when I handed over that simple, gold, metal name tag.  

Dr. Suess said it best

To the world, you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world

Remember this, the next time you see a nametag - engraved, embroidered or written - on a waitress, cashier, or any other type of tag that offers you a name, they mean the world to someone else.  They are a human being, in that moment, that happens to be a human doing...for you.

Y'all...

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

BTW - this sucks

The Goodest Puppy

Heidi        Kodi        Zipper        Rocky (the cat )        Zeus        Athena        

Guinness        Luna        Izzy        Suri
(in the order of owning/having)

For as long as I can remember, I have always had a dog.

There was a stint with a cat (don't judge...LOL), but even then - dogs.

In the past two years, we have sent three pups over the rainbow bridge.

Today, we say goodbye, to Guinness.

He came to us as 'Elvis'. I always joked that he lied to us.  Having rescued him from the Southwest Rottwieller Rescue, as he grew it was clear that he was more Doberman/German Shepherd mix than an actual Rottweiler.  He was so little...sigh.

When he came on the scene, it was at the tail end (see what I did there? hee hee) of Athena's time with us.  Athena had been my second Rottie and 'my' dog if you will.  Once she left us, Guinness was solo for a bit.  About 6-mos in, it was decided he needed a buddy.  

Enter Luna.

Ma Dog, Luna

Rescued from the Grand Prairie shelter, we found her on their website.  The moment I saw her, I knew she was mine.  

Those last days * 2020

Once home, we brought her into the house.  A much younger Guinness, chewing on his rope, looked up.  Couldn't be bothered.  Luna gingerly went over, laid down across from him, nose-to-nose and started chewing the other end of the rope.

Fast friends.

In 2020, we received a heartwrenching call from the vet.  During her dental cleaning, the tissue was dissolving.  

Cancer...sigh.

We had two more weeks with her and had to say goodbye. 

All too quickly.  

Not long after, Izzy had to be let go (Izzy had been Darrin's dog when we married in 2018). Doing the math, yes, we had three dogs at one point.  Izzy's cancer had rapidly metastasized.  Riddled with cancer, riddled with pain.  Farewell...sigh (this really sucks by the way).

Izzy

It was just Guinness (again).  

It was decided we would not be getting another dog.

D'OH

Enter Suri (never say never...lol)

Make no mistake, Suri was DARRIN'S dog

While Guinness and Suri were not fast friends, they tolerated each other.  

And then - only 3 years after having Suri, her health turned.  

We had to put her down.

Have I mentioned, this sucks?

Which leads us to today.  

I have waffled over this decision for a while.  I've joked about it (if you know you know).  However, over the past week, it is clear that this is the kindest thing we can do for this FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD pup.  His dementia is escalating, he struggles to get up, and he is barely eating.  

I've even asked him to go on his own...sigh.

I spoke to his veterinarian this morning.  She's known him from the day we brought him home.  She affirmed it is the kindest next step.  

He's had a good life.  

The girls have loved loved LOVED this dog.  

He is also loved by SO. MANY. OTHER. KIDS.

                              

                            Our Dog Sitters  (outta job, unfortunately)               Baseball Buddy

 

                                 

                              Our Sitters with their Manager                     K&M

                  

On that note, and through tears that are blurring my vision, we say goodbye.  

He's been dubbed: Guinness.  Old Man.  Guinness-The-Puppy.  Guin-Guin. Fat Head.  

And now he will be The Last Man Standing,

It goes without saying that he will be missed very, very much by many.

We love you Guin-Guin.

 One Last Walk...he LOVED those walks
(so did Guinness...lol)

                                                       The Littlest                         The Oldest

    

                      Second Middlest                    Sweet Dreams                          The Middlest

Such a Patient Soul
Say 'hello' to all that have gone before you, we send all our love.

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

Blue Trigangles and Other Unexpected Reminders

When I'm driving around, watching TV, or listening to the radio - BOOP! 

A memory is triggered because of something seen or heard.

My 'Kim' Mug with a pine cone painted on it - BOOP!
    Trip with my mom and brother, to Estes Park in the 80's
     (you do the math on how long I've had this mug...lol)

Blue Triangles - BOOP!
     5 1/2 weeks in 2009.

The (now fixed) guardrail - BOOP!
      The spot where the oldest hydroplaned and totaled her car, fortunately not her life. 
      Also a memory I wish I could re-do every single time we pass that guardrail...sigh.
      (we'll call this a twofer, since it also represents one of my worst mom moments ever, another post in itself)

Anything to do with England - BOOP!
        My early 20's, formative years with some of my dearest friends at the time
        (one of which has stuck around all this time!)

It comes out of nowhere, eh?  Be boppin' through the day, mindin' yer own business.  

*screech of a record* 

A swirl down memory lane.  

It is a powerful moment.  

Sometimes we miss them and carry on with the day.

Sometimes they grip us and we're locked in, misremembering the things that surround the event.

Of the few I've mentioned, the most poignant is the Blue Triangles.  

Every time I drive west, I see them on the horizon, taking me back to a myriad of moments and emotions in 2009. It was a span of 5 1/2 weeks, where it was literally, life or death.  

Eventually, death.  

She would have been 14 years old on Friday, July 14th - her golden birthday (you know - where the date of your birthday is the number you turn).

Jordan Brook Fox was born with a rare, heart defect, undetected until birth.

I never heard her cry.  They delivered her, an emergency C-section after 12+ hours of excruciating labor.  The cord was cut, and there ensued a flurry of activity and decisions.  She was taken to Cook Children's where she stayed until her inevitable passing on August 21st.

Not all of those 'Blue Triangles' are laden with sadness.  Even in the midst of those few weeks, sweet memories surface.  

I recall the friends that simply sat with us in the waiting room.  

I see in my mind's eye, the oldest (at the time all of 7y old) reading to her littlest sister bedside.  

The love that surrounded us from near and far, from family and friends.  

The curious amount of Cane's chicken we ate, brought over by generous friends so we didn't have to think about dinner.  

What are your Blue Triangles?  I am curious and would like to hear.

In the meantime, 

Happy 14th Birthday Jordan.  

You are missed.  

You are loved.  

And you are remembered every time I see those Blue Triangles.

Your Mama

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

Here's Your Sign and Other Universal Nudges

I do quite a bit of self-help practices.  

From a daily practice using the CALM app (check it out here), listening to books and podcasts (I'll list my most recent reads and favorite listens at the end of this writing).  I've even written a children's book (working on getting that illustrated and published...stay tuned!).

You've heard Jeff Foxworthy

Or how about the proverbial - you've told/said something to your partner, say six to ten times, give or take.  Then, a counselor or a friend comes along - says the EXACT SAME THING - all of a sudden, the light goes on.  "Genius!" they say.  

*blinking, blank stare*  

Over the past few weeks, reads and listens, there has been that same, underlying theme.  

I'm sure I've heard it over and over; for some reason, it's hitting - right. now.  

Recently, it has presented as '1%', 'Habit Stacking', 'Holy Moments'

1% states If you can get 1% better each day, for 1-year, you'll end up 37-times better by the time you're done.  Conversely, if you get 1% worse each day for 1-year, you'll decline nearly down to zero.  - James Clear, Atomic Habits

7 Habits of Highly Effective People * 30th Anniversary edition.  In regards to this post, just...read it/listen to it.  It is that good.  (no wonder so many people suggest it...lol).  In regards to it being the 30th Anniversary, his son gives chapter updates - making it applicable to the current culture.  It's also sweet to hear some inside, personal stories.

A Holy Moment is a single moment you open yourself to God, setting aside personal preference and self-interest, making yourself available to Him. - Matthew Kelly, Holy Moments

Habit Stacking pairs a desired new habit with a current habit (check the full description out here)  - James Clear, Atomic Habits.  For me, after I wake up and after CALM app meditations (current), I will grab exercise (new).  

[ Brag moment: meditation streak 1,083 days, exercise 60 day streak ]

These are three things...three 'signs', if you will, that literally struck me as recently as April.  1% hit, along with Habit Stacking and in this past week, Holy Moments.  

*LIGHT BULB* 

Anybody else freezes up when they think, 'Exercise/Meditate/Eat Right...forEVER?!' and quit after day three. 

Me too.

These concepts just made sense!  It's NOT the forEVER, it's the moment-by-moment.  

Choices.

That's all - been sitting on this since the weekend.  Time to stop overthinking...

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

I've hyperlinked the resources for your convenience, above and here:

Atomic Habits | Holy Moments | 7 Habits of Highly Effective People | CALM App

*The Texas GInger received no residual from these mentions.  They're simply worth mentioning.

Chaos and Clutter

Some of you may or may not know, people pay me to sort their stuff.  In some circles, it's known as 'Professional Organizer'.  Pretty hoity-toity title, if ya ask me...LOL

I blame my friend, Linda*.  She taunted me with her home, inviting me over to help organize this or that.  She generously compensated me for my time, recognizing that I brought value to her home with this skill set.

For ten minutes I attempted to have my own business. It did not work out. 

After some 'encouragement' from my husband.

[ Define 'encouragement' Kimberly.  Oh...OK.

  HUBS: 'You need a job.  Love that you're trying to do your own thing. 

  Have you applied online?' 

   *deer in the headlights* 'Oh...hadn't thought of that.'

    Some tears may have fallen, feeling silly for not having thought of that...GENIUS!

   I immediately began this process of uploading Document of Awesome-ness (aka: Resume)

   on a hiring site.  A week later, Get-Your-Life-Together Company* called.  

   The rest is history.  I celebrated a year in March. ]

I digress...

In the year I've worked with this company.

I have worked with
- hoarders.
- grieving adult children, having absorbed their parents' things
- a few clients that just need a little nudge to get the purge process underway.
- young, middle-aged and older clients
I have heard and listened to so. many. stories. so. many. memories.
Celebratory, happy, sad, and everything in between.

The resounding theme and underlying vibe
ATTACHMENT. 
To ALL the things.    
The follow-up question,
What do they do with All The Things?

Oof.

That's where I come in. 

Let's begin by debunking the shows you see on Netflix. 
I do not arrive with a sponsored cargo van in tow, full of purchased organizing bins.
I do not have a camera crew following me to document 'The Journey'. 
I do not 'dress cute', as I have a standard uniform that allows me to uhm...work. 
While I do watch the occasional organizing show, it is unrealistic to think in 8 hours we will find 'joy' in the items (nobody got TIME for that!) or to think the rainbowed pantry is actually functional.  Home Edit or Marie Kondo, I am not.  

That is NOT reality.

Let me tell you what reality looks like on a job, on any given day.

'So, tell me, why are we keeping the Gardening Today magazines dated back to 2001?'

'I may reference it or need to look something up.'

'Can you look at this issue (holding it up) and tell me one thing in here you'd look for?'

*crickets*

'Ok...do you know about Google?' (I am not this cold, you get the gist though)

'I just want to keep them.'

'Alright' *smile*

And into bins goes 20+ years of magazines.

I do not exaggerate.

Or how about $4,448 in storage costs.  *GASP*  Shocking!  Who...oh, wait...

Three years ago, someone died. 
There was no will. 
Their things went into storage units. 

THREE. YEARS. AGO. 
To include, and not short of
Furniture
DVD's.
Laser Discs and the player (remember that 10 minutes of technology?) 
Records.
Cassette Tapes.
Medical books.
Artwork.  

The job was to go through ALL the boxes in order to prepare for the Estate Sale.  

Estate Sales, by the way, are fancy garage sales, with pictures online.

As I moved box after box and several furniture items, it occurred to me.

At one time, these items were new and current.
They were purchased, touched, and moved into a home with anticipation and excitement.
Someone paid full price at one time.
That person died.
Strangers came in, boxed, wrapped and moved items into storage.
We, strangers, were touching, moving. 
There will be a sale.
Other people, strangers, will pay a very low price and move things into THEIR home.
Another day, in the future, their children or a relative or strangers will....
Sell, move...etc.

Do you see the pattern?  
Do you see the problem?

I'm not saying live without. 
Absolutely ENJOY your things.  I have several things I look at with fondness.  I take several trips down memory lane.  There are things that SHOULD bring you joy.  We want to relive a memory on occasion.  

What I AM saying - keep up with it. 
Purge quarterly.
Really THINK about if you 'need' something - or TWELVE of something. 
Think about WHO will be left to touch, move, decide. 

The burden I see in the relatives left behind to contend with All The Things is heart-wrenching. One client had asked her parents to go through their things, while they were still alive.  Even suggested hiring a company.  They said, "We don't want strangers going through our things." 

Whell...

As Smoky The Bear says, rather, his close second cousin,

"Only YOU can prevent clutter and chaos"

I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

*names of people and company have been changed to protect their innocence...LOL 

Besides, I don't have permission to let the general public in on their knowing me, let alone associate with me.  HA!!

OPINIONS and ONIONS

** Please excuse the visual of this post. 
There was not a 'no background' option **

Journaling recently, I wrote out OPINIONS and noticed the word ONIONS within it.

One of my favorite things is to see words IN words.  I find it gives deeper meaning and impact.

IMPOSSIBLE says I'M POSSIBLE

RESPONSIBILITY suggests I have the ABILITY to RESPOND

Remove PI from OPINIONS
and you're left with ONIONS.

You get the idea.

Back to OPINIONS and ONIONS...

Someone very dear to me shared some news.  Pretty big news.  Life-altering news.  News that is taking her in an unexpected direction.  I started to think about all the OPINIONS people will have, the reactions and responses she'll be subjected to as she tells others.  

Some will celebrate.  

Some will judge.  

Some will fall somewhere in the middle.  

The thing is - they're all OPINIONS.  And OPINIONS are layered, like...wait for it...ONIONS.  

To borrow from Shrek.

As donkey goes on in that clip.

OpiNIONS STINK.
Yep.  Onions stink.  As do Opinions.  They reek of the filter and layers of the person expressing said opinion.

OpiNIONS MAKE YOU CRY.

Yep.  Onions make you cry.  Often, the opinion of someone else can too. 

NOT EVERYONE LIKES OpiNIONS 

True.  Not everyone likes onions.  They can be pungent when raw.  They sweeten when cooked.  Either way, not everyone likes them.  

OpiNIONS CAN BE OVERPOWERING.

Onions can overshadow a dish.  Similarly, opinions can drown you and overshadow our own self-talk, self-worth, our own confidence, our own voice.  Sometimes, it's all you can smell and taste.  

OpiNIONS GIVE YOU BAD BREATH
No one wants to be close to anyone with bad, OpiNION breath.  They usually steer clear, as will those that give their opinions.

I've gone through my own ONION-OPINION experiences in my life and lemme tell ya, it stank, I cried, I didn't like what people said and at times, it was overpowering and challenging to hold my head up.  I definitely stayed away from their bad breath.

AND YET...FUN FACT -  onions have health benefits too.  As stinky, cry-y-ing, dislike-edness and overpowering as they can be, they have healing properties too.  Who knew?  I found this on the interwebs and it read, 

"Onions are packed with disease and free-radical-fighting antioxidants, 

which help repair and protect damaged cells in your body." 

Knowing this, it would suffice to say that OPINIONS also have health benefits.  Opinions can help repair and protect our mental health, when sourced from trusted resources.  Even then, those trusted resources come with their own filters, perspectives and presuppositions.  Get hit with enough of them and you build up the resistance.  You learn to block them out.  

Pause the next time you, yourself, are inclined to share an OpiNION with a person or share a story that is not for you to tell.  Would YOU think it smells?  Would it make YOU cry to hear it?  Would YOU like it?  Would it be overpowering?  Would YOU steer clear of it?

Is it TRUE? Is it NECESSARY? Is it KIND?

These are good assessments to implement.  Check out my TED Talk on how I have perfected this and no longer share an opinion or stories that are none of my business...sigh.  

Oh, wait...never mind.

In the spirit of being a WIP (Work In Progress), I can assure you, I have moments when I share out of line.  Although, I HAVE adopted practicing The Ask.  "Do you want to hear my guidance, advice, two cents?  Or am I to just listen?"  Usually, the person is simply dying to hear my sage wisdom...LOL

I will leave you with the poem from which the three questions above are derived.  

In the meantime, I remain, Humbled, Buoyed and Blessed 

And always, I invite you to take 10 minutes to

Just Be

The Texas Ginger

Bringing World Peace, One Hug At A Time

The Three Gates

If you are tempted to reveal

A Tale to you someone has told

About another, make it pass,

Before you speak, Three gates of gold.

These narrow gates: First, “Is it true?”

Then, “Is it needful?” In your mind

Give truthful answer. And the next

Is last and narrowest, “Is it kind?”

And if to reach your lips at last

It passes through these gateways three,

Then you may tell the tale, nor fear

What the result of speech may be.

--The Arabian